It’s all for the children, right?
For those of you who, like me, spent last Sunday night reliving the holidays with the HO-HO-HO Housewives, here are a few more precious imponderables that one only finds tied up with a bow, under a New Jersey Mardi Gras Christmas tree in July.
Apparently the Giudice’s are feeling the recession like all of us. And of course, there is that pesky eleven million dollar debt looming just beyond the auld lang synes, so they are volunteering for humble simplicity, even if this means celebrating their anniversary with a picnic on the living room floor instead of with a private helicopter ride and a big fancy ring submerged in the chocolate mousse like last year. So then what is up with Juicy Joe’s tricked out man cave? The Giudice’s are so poor that don’t have living room furniture, or a dining room table, but they have a 25 foot long semi circular sectional with two built in recliners in the den? Whaddup with that?
And Teresa, Joo-dee-chay? Or rather, excuse me, Joo-DEE-chay? Are you kidding me? When did that happen, and why?
Meanwhile, of all the Christmas decoration disasters one could envision with a yuletide yack-up fest like that gigantic fake tree in Melissa’s foyer, the lack of a fresh pine fragrance is not really the first concern that would leap to my mind. At this point, why doesn’t she just hang a few of those pine tree scented air fresheners from the boughs and call it a night? I mean really!
Is a step and repeat on the front lawn of your suburban New Jersey split level really an appropriate way to say Happy Birthday to Jesus? I didn’t see his logo up there anywhere in the background. I mean Baby Jesus Christ, that is just wrong.!
Then, in keeping with his family’s fall of ancient Rome theme, Rich Wakile goes all Nero on everybody, and starts threatening to burn a house full of taffeta clad Christmas guests, and live vintage carolers, not to mention all that Fabulous Fred winter wonderland bunting right down to the ground, because Teresa said “Oh, now you’re happy to see me.” I realize this is a little snotty and rude, and meant to flip the tables as only Teresa can, but an incentive to commit a heinous Christmas crime? Simma down now!
And finally, I, who have spent the majority of my adult life going to high end charity events, show up at a benefit that I know Teresa will be attending, and bring my friend and lawyer, who has just successfully sued Teresa and Joe as my guest, without letting anybody know ahead of time. And I do this- -I put my friend and myself in a position to be bounced out of a party and be embarrassed on national TV, all because I’m desperate for attention, can’t help but start up drama for other people, have no life, and am dying to be one of the REAL Real Housewives of New Jersey…
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